28 October, 2010

A blues for Nikkie...i.e ME

So you're wondering who Nikkie is, well Nikkie is short for Nicole which is my middle name and what my daddy used to call me (shouts out to the Daddy's Girls)...any how...I sometimes feel my alter ego is Nikkie. 

Nikkie is the exuberant, jubilant, optimistic "hope springs eternal" side of me that no matter what Fawn goes through, Nikkie always sees the silver lining and can turn the frown upside down.  

Well lately, that is just is not the case.  I know I am really down in the dirty dumps when me nor my alter ego(you'd think I was schizophrenic the way I am referring to my middle name) can find a way to really sing like a sparrow. 

I have always been that person that could inspire, encourage and breathe some sense into people. I pride myself on seeding into people's souls on a regular basis -- but what happens when those same people are not there to help prune and turn the soil in your garden so it can be seeded???  I am not and have not always been that person needing other's approval or inspiring words for what I have going on in my life, BUT I will say when you hit your all time low -- it sure feels good to have people to want to come by and brush the dust off, smile at you, say some calming words or maybe even take you to lunch just because they are concerned.

All I have is

CRICKETS.  

If you listen closely, you will hear them chirping

I want...aww shucks I don't know what I want but I know it would help to have someone be my "Brother to the Night" now that I can admit as a woman when you are pushing through your madness and you are single sometimes it sure helps to have your attention diverted from the foolery around you by an intelligent, fantastically smelling, concerned MALE.  Your girlfriends are good but at times to know you are adored, appreciated, valued and respected just because you are Gods phenomenal creature called woman by a man, sure is 

NICE :)

So, I keep on keeping on and pushing through until I have my breakthrough and try to recapture the loving feeling so Nikkie can share her happiness with the world again.

**reference if you are unfamiliar with The Brother to Night, A Blues for Nina check out the movie Love Jones**