01 January, 2011

No more Comfort Zone

 "Today is the first day of the rest of your life". - Charles Dederich

By the end of the month today will be a blur to most, who am I kidding by the end of the week, it'll be a blur(smile).  However, if you get some time alone -- think about where you are right now and where you are going.  I know many people have written/videoed all these deep inspirational thoughts/sayings for you, so I guess I'll throw mine right in there with the bunch.

As you already know the end of 2010 was such an overwhelming blessing for me.  The job that I so passionately wanted, I was finally hired on.  My Director called me to wish me a Happy New Year, stated he is looking forward to working together in 2011 and emailed me my hours which are so perfect for me.  I so look forward to Monday!!  

Anyway I wanted to just say just because it is a new year does not mean challenges and adversity have remained behind in 2010, but what can be left behind in 2010 is how you think/face those issues. Everyday we rise we will not have the most positive way of thinking or feel wonderful - but it is in these days that we have to try even harder to not allow ourselves to become anxious and unfocused on our goals.

For me I got so caught up in continuously seeing what I was not and where I was not, that it was having serious  effects on me mentally, physically and spiritually.  Mentally, I felt so beaten and so overwhelmed.  Physically, I gained weight and on medication. Spiritually, I was completely off-track!  I kept measuring my happiness and success by what was occurring in others lives.  I really became blinded so much so that I was completely frustrated and ready to throw in the towel.  I was angry - and I mean real angry. Angry, I did not have a job, angry that I had gained weight (funny the foolishness you get mad at God for -- he didn't make me eat that food), angry I did not have a man in my life(when you are 30+ do you still call men boyfriends, LOL), angry I was not getting the grades I hoped for, just a big ol ball of anger.  It took my friend TNK to call me out one day -- and boy did they put me in check!  I was so mad at TNK I could have done something evil like work a root if I knew how, LOL!!  Funny, TNK  knew I was madder than a viper but didn't care. That brings me to another point, We all have to have that person or person's in your life who words will cut you like a knife even if it is to save your life! People's whose honesty is raw and unadulterated.  Now this just can not be just anyone but God knows the special person/people who you will be able to receive the truth from and not reach over there and strangle them when they are done.  Know this when they say something, you're gonna be highly pissed off when they are done but it is what it is -- sometimes we all need a kick in the tushy!


Today is a new day - usually I would be in Church - but I opted to stay home today.

I thought about how God truly blessed me in 2010 and has been carrying me for so long.  Some don't subscribe to a belief in a higher being or they like to reference it as the "Universe".  I just can not do that -- my spirit complete rejects that philosophy, I know for a fact that as the elders sing "If it had not been for the Lord, I don't know where I would be"  I can truly relate.  

I thought about what is my intention for writing this blog.  Initially it was just an outlet for me an online journal so to speak - however it has truly challenged me to be transparent with myself and those who read my writings. I have let that anger go and decided to really just let myself be me and just be free of all nonsense.  I believe we are all here to ultimately do two things and they are summed into two tasks: To Serve and To Educate.  I have always found myself in careers that have done both of these and I have also found that jobs that allow me to serve and educate allow me to be at my happiest and my very best.  

My new job definitely allows me serve and educate, THANK YOU GOD!

Serving and Educating are the cornerstones that I was raised on.  Mostly everyone in my family share these two characteristics and oddly enough their lives also evolve around executing these same beliefs.  I believe in letting my life be of service to assist, guide, and help in some way or another while educating you. 

So as I move into 2011, I promise to serve and educate you in some way.   I am coming out of my comfort zone and will no longer remain complacent with the way things have been.  I will make a concerted effort to change something each and everyday so as to push me further towards my goals.  Hopefully, my writings will prompt change in your life as I am changing things in mine.  

Have a Happy New year looking forward to what is to come.

Comfort Zone - Marvin Sapp: Here I Am Album


  1. Your words are liberation not only for you, but for anyone who reads this. Anger is truly a cancer, but love, happiness, passion and optimism is the cure. You are about to aquire them all. I look forward to taking this walk with you and witnesing your life's transfermation.

  2. Very inspiring words!! And definitely words I can relate to!! Be blessed always!

  3. Thanks Fawn for inspiring me, because unlike you i have been in that same spot!!!lol
    i was alway's angrey & upset because i had nothing to do, & i had multipul surgery's, & taking a whole lot of meds... And, when your sitting around twittling your thumbs & ppl., & "FAMILY" not understanding what your going through or how you truly feel... Then you have that special person in your life, "When Does The Word BoyFriend end??? lol
    So, in my case i just say FU*k IT!! Only you know how to "MAKE Yourself Happy,Only you know where your enter "Peace" is... The Devil is a Liar!!!**AMEN**
    So, as they say i "Let Go", & "Let God"... Because I, You Can't worry about thing's you truly have no control over... I'm so "Happy" for you getting the job you wanted... I wish Nothing but the best for You & Baby Boy D... Nothing & no 1 Control you!!
    **Peace & Blessing's**
    Only stick with the "Positive", & Positive PPL.
    If you have to remove those who you Love & Care About Dearly "Do So"... You Don't need any "Negative" PPl. in your Life!! This Your Year To "Shine"...

  4. Thank you Fawn for sharing. You still inspire me! Thanks Love you more!!TFD

  5. that's awesome FAWN!!! i'm so glad things have turned around for you...you are such an inspiration and things are just going to get better for u from here!!! LOVE U BIG SIS!!!!!!

  6. Happy New Year my sweet baby! You consistantly amaze me with your expressions about life travels. I have lived two thirds of my life and with my last third beginning you have knocked at my heart with your profound pearly wisdom. I thank you and agree with Dwon, I hope to take this walk with you, if only for a while. Be well and best wishes with your new job. God bless you my honey.

  7. WOW, I mean WOW...I originally logged in because to be very honest; I like you and mostly wanted to show support..and I was curious of course cuz' your posts on Facebook are usually funny and insightful.
    ...but after reading it, word-for-word I realized I NEEDED to read this! I am delighted about your new job and on a personal note, I can relate to the "Big-ole-ball of anger"..been there, still visit sometimes. Much like the famous poem by Paul Lawrence Dunbar, I choose to "Wear The Mask" around strangers who prefer to see me smiling. As a Southern Black woman, it's what we do, right?? *wink*
    I am adding you to my blog-roll; folks need to read this...GOOD STUFF FAWN!!!
    No resolutions, corny passed-around sayings just honest reflection without condemnation, personal or otherwise!
    Thank you....

  8. Fawn, you're off to a great start. Thanks for sharing your heart. More of us need a TNK in our lives. God bless you on your journey in 2011.

  9. Hey Fawn

    Good stuff. Continue to do your thing. We love and support you! Thank you for having the courage to share... we all are going through some type of struggle but most of us are scared to even take a deep breath, let alone share these trials with others. By sharing you release yourself and give others the courage to get out of their comfort zone too.

  10. Fawn you did it again! I love your blog, it makes me feel like I am in a discussion because I'm answering you and agreeing w you while I'm reading it! I had a time in my life when I was so so mad @ God and everything he stood for so one day I was alone a few months after my dad died and I am embrassed to say but I got so mad at my dad for dying and leaving me, I just started crying and cursing him out I said (Please Excuse my language) I don't Fuckin care anymore cause you died n ur not ever gonna help me where did you fuckin go now I am crying harder because I can't take that back then I hear a knock at my door there is this little old man smiling at me and I was in a mood so I was disconnected I wasn't really paying him any mind then he said Do you want to know my name? I said ok what's your name? He says I am Chet the Jet! Really excited so I was so not amused then he says do you want to know why they call me that I look at him n sayAlright why? He floored me with this he said They call me Chet the Jet because I'll be right there whenever you need me! I started filling up with tears! I could not believe it! I was okay my heart started to feel better after that cause I knew I really knew my dad was ok and that it doesn't matter what religion. Someone is it's all Love and same basic ideas cause I was raised catholic and Chet was a Jahova Witness lol today God had a different plan for you today or the day that you did this blog because it's his work that your doing! I love you! Keep it up! n The best to you n your precious son this year! You are gonna do so wonderful at your New Job!
    Happy New Year!

  11. Fawn as always your words truly hit home for me. I had to let go of the lingering disappointment that 2010 had over me. I'm willing positivity for 2011 and letting God take me wherever I need to be.