14 March, 2012



I believe often times when people hear/read the word settling they always think the negative in terms of relationships. However, I don't think it is negative -- ONLY if your sights are set on unrealistic qualities within people that you have not strided to become yourself. Many times the term settling also is related to financial success in regards to relationships i.e Lola/Henry do not want to be with a man/woman making X amount of dollars. To me that should not even be apart of your selection in a mate - what their income/lack thereof is or what amount of assets they may/may not have. In today's economy you can be at the pinnacle of success and be standing in the unemployment line by 5 p.m. No one has financial stability right now, whether they profess they do or not.

Settling to me is in terms of values and character of a person. 

The older I get, it is less about superficial things and more about the true character of a person.

The number one "thing" I want in a mate is Security. We have eliminated the financial discussion so obviously that is not what I am implying. I mean security within himself, his beliefs, his accomplishments, his goals. Simply put the ability to maneuver through life issues and offer reassurance to me that no matter what the issue, we will tackle those things together. The ability to provide mental and subliminally physical security (because we all know there is that person or persons that can beat your man's ass but you just want to at least FEEL like he is He-Man in your home, LOL) 

Acceptance is an arm of security because in order for a person to feel "secure" they must be able to "accept" life's issues and dilemmas honestly and then determine -- how to make the wisest decision. 

Ask a person that is single (or even married, many relationships end in divorce after people have been diagnosed with health issues) and dealing with health issues i.e Cancer, Lupus, Mental Illness, MS, HIV, Deaf or insert your health (here) and they will tell you that if they could only meet someone who would be able to "Accept" their life challenge. So many are on that quintessential quest for eternal life and drink of the beauty challis that they forget that life has a way dealing you issues that you never even contemplated. That's if you were one of the fortunate people to never have had to deal with serious illnesses. As humans we claim to be very accepting/understanding of others UNTIL you are actually faced with those issues you claim others should be so accepting/understanding of yourself.

So to bring this back to the topic at hand of "Settling" I choose not to settle, will that make it more challenging for me to encounter the person that best suits me, probably so. However I am willing to take that chance - than to be involved with someone that does not meet those characteristics that are extremely important to me.

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